The Dangers of Comparison in Sport
As more and more children battle to be the best at younger and younger ages, what is the possibility of unintended consequences? Is there the possibility of harm for children who spend large amounts of time comparing themselves to their higher performing peers? What might the effects of such comparisons be in terms of a child’s long term development and future participation?
These are important questions to ask as a parent, especially since comparison has the potential not only to cause significant harm but also to negatively impact development and reduce the desire to continue to participate. We as facilitators, coaches or parents must therefore do all we can to avoid the children we’re involved with getting sucked into what’s often referred to as ‘The Comparison Trap’.
When children first set out on their sporting journey, attempting sports for the first time, one of their main forms of feedback is how they compare themselves to others. As an adult, you may think this is daft, but it's one of their most significant forms of feedback.
We know that there are many discrepancies during these early sporting experiences. Some children are well ahead of the game due to the amount of time they may have spent practising a specific sport or they may be physically and emotionally more developed for their age.
If children compare themselves to some of these early developed athletes they run the risk of dropping out of the sport too early and as parents it’s important to do what you can to help manage the situation. We can be all too quick to label children, intenionally or unintentionally, in a way that may potentially hold them back. Comparing them to ourselves when we were their age or other participants; categorising them into specific positions or events; even defining them on their sporting prowess in a particular sport.
When doing this we run the risk of labelling children without giving them the chance to properly develop in a particular field. The reason for this is that a lot of time may need to be committed to improve a particular skill and we take the starting point sometimes as a sign of what they may be capable of. It is far easier for parents to motivate and invest time for their children in something where there is already some perceived success as opposed to developing areas of weakness.
Despite a long held belief that early specialisation was important for eventual sporting success, the concensus in the sporting community now is that early specialisation in one sport or sporting discipline isn’t beneficial for long term development. In fact, it’s become clear that the opposite is true.
Children need to know that people develop at different rates and at different times and it’s important as coaches or parents to understand that sporting development is never the straight line seen in the first diagram below, but more like the second one.
Children will have periods where they plateau, where they grow quickly, where they improve rapidly and where they get worse. This is all part of the development process and while the latter one is understandably difficult for parents, it is a reality. It’s something that should be understood as part of their sporting journey, rather than instantly worried about or as a sign intervention is needed to get them back on track.
One thing is clear, current, or early sporting performance is not a reliable indicator of future sporting success.
Think back to your own childhood, people you may have seen or played with who were so far ahead of the game at a young age but then never featured as they hit the teenage years or moved into adulthood. Many international junior sportspeople across different sports struggle to make the jump from junior to senior athlete.
There are numerous stories of athletes who were average at a younger age, who never really featured prominently but who went on to become far better than many of their earlier high performing peers.
As parents, understanding this is crucial to manage the sometimes difficult journey of sporting development and feelings that accompany it, in the best way possible. Many children will soon lose the motivation for turning up to training and competitions if they are regularly comparing themselves to others and see their team mates or opposition as ‘miles better than them.’
As parents it’s important to understand how and why some children are stronger or develop faster at a young age than others and communicate it effectively with our children, helping them understand the following in whichever type of language you choose to use:
- Physical advantage – some children are bigger, stronger and quicker and will always dominate at a younger age.
- Emotional maturity – some children are emotionally more mature, can listen to coaches more effectively, deal with competition better and cope with situations in a far better way than some other children.
- Time spent – a child who has spent double the time on a chosen sport or a skill generally as a rule should have a significant advantage over the other. At a young age this can be even more pronounced but that does not mean that it cannot be caught up but it will need time.
- Skills – can be developed and are not based on physical characteristics
It’s hard but important to accept that there will always be someone better. However, children need to understand that they must not constantly compare themselves to others. They can enjoy swimming with them, competing against them and indeed even learning from them but they must never feel a failure or want to walk away from a sport just because they are not as good as someone else. Not at least until they have given themselves plenty of time to develop.
They will never know what they are truly capable of until they have invested the time and effort to explore their potential.
So the next time you think your children might be falling into ‘The Comparison Trap’, you can be ready to explain to them why comparisons may not be such a good idea. Most importantly, make sure they know that sport and development is a long term investment and success is not necessarily in the here and now.
